Diets Breed Shame

Walk into a room of ordinary people, and how many people wish they could lose a little weight.

At least half would raise their hands.

Imagine how many are ashamed of their weight. Self-conscious? Angry for having rolls, or a pouch, or large thighs. How many do you think would raise their hand?

Now imagine you ask yourself. Do you raise your hand?

Most dieting is built around the idea that something about our bodies is wrong and needs to be

fixed. It is built on the “not good enough” belief. This is a self-destructive mindset because it is

built on the belief that we are not good enough as we are, which is the foundation of shame.

We are sucked into this shame cycle before we even realize what is going on. Our attitudes

imply “I’m not good enough as I am, so I better change my body so I can finally be accepted”.

And when we attach this shame to our weight, it can lead to certain behaviours, such as over or

under eating, isolation, a coping strategy to manage pain, and these, in turn, can contribute to

disordered eating patterns. It is a set-up for reinforcing deep rooted shame.

This shame about weight often shows up in phrases that we tell ourselves over and over,

usually without realizing.

I was born ugly.

My body will never be good enough.

No one will ever want me.

I’m so fat.

These statements are hurtful. Our body and appearance does not increase our value as a

human. There are thousands of things we can buy to help us change and manipulate how we

look, to “fix” ourselves, to get those washboard abs, that thigh gap, that perky bum, or those

toned muscles. But having those things does not make us any less superior, and not having

those things does not make us any less inferior, than anyone else.

One of the things we can do to actively loosen the shame is acknowledge the thoughts, but

rather than let them play over and over, start to replace each of the shame thoughts.

My body helps me live my life.

Right now, I am grateful my body can do [name one thing]

My body deserves love and respect.

I love my body as it is today.

My body is perfect the way it is and I honor it in this state.

Your voice and your thoughts are powerful tools that form the foundation of how you view

yourself. At first it may be awkward, and you don’t need to believe these new thoughts 100%.

The practice is in noticing the shame and countering them. This is a start to changing the

negative thinking, and begin to build a better relationship with your body. Remember, you are

challenging years of body images and negative self-talk. Take baby steps and begin with one

statement you can focus on.

We have the ability to change our mindset and changing our mindset is a million times more

effective than changing our bodies.

Remember: My worth isn’t defined by my weight. I define my worth and I am worthy.

Until next time,

Jackie

You are so much more than what you see in the mirror.

“Your value as a human does not come from what you look like on the outside”

I can remember the countless times I would be scrolling through social media and have thoughts of “I wish I looked like that”, or “I’m so fat compared to her”. Or looking in the mirror, just full of hate towards how I looked. And sadly, I know this is more common than it is not.

Body positivity. It’s a term that thrown around a lot on social media regularly. But what does it mean? For me, initially, it simply was changing your mindset and seeing your body in a positive view rather than always thinking about it in a negative one.

Take a minute to think about what it means to you.

There are many definitions and perspectives, and over the years, I’ve learned it is much more than that.

To me, it means your worth is not dependent on what your body looks like or the number on the scale. It is a journey of learning to accept your body for what it is, and what it does for you on a daily basis so that you don’t let your insecurities or unrealistic ideals about beauty and health hold you back from living life.

It is striving to be your best self.

I believe it’s a state of mind and place of the heart where you can make choices for yourself in a place of love, rather than hate.

It’s throwing out the fashion rules of the past that force or shame us to hide and shrink away.

It’s allowing us permission to put on that two-piece bathing suit, to slay that downward dog facing position, to look in the mirror at your body, smile, and say “I love it”.

It is focusing on what you do with your body, and what the next person does with theirs does not concern you.

It’s always easier said than done. I understand that and recognize that somedays there are going to be better days than others. You are not alone in how you are feeling. Welcome to a series of blogs on everything from self-esteem and body-image of ourselves and within our relationships, to weight-shaming and body comparison. It is not an easy journey to feel confident and happy in your body, but it’s a rewarding feeling to give your body the love it deserves. It’s my hope this content will help you along your journey.

Until next time,

Jackie